I don't care who you are. Clowns are scary as frick. It's not their fault that they have no real skills besides scaring the crap out of small children, but do not come near me with your balloon animals made from human skin (probably) and your horns that spray chloroform (probably) in order for you to take me back to your evil clown lair in order to harvest my organs for your face paints (probably) and then use my skin for more balloon animals (probably) just so you can knock out other kids with chloroform-horns (probably) and take them back to your evil lair to begin the harvesting process all over again.
Don't get me wrong. Not every clown is evil (maybe?), but it doesn't stop the fact that they are terrifying. Not as terrifying as spiders, mind you, but they are still creepy.
Photo from MSNBC.com
Tell me that isn't terrifying!!! Do you see a soul in those eyes? No! Because it doesn't exist! I bet at night that "friendly" image of a clown turns into something more like this:
Based on this assumption, the graph that explains my erratic behavior when clowns are near can be safely assumed by this beautiful graph:
Clearly, if a clown gets within about five hundred feet of me, I am going to start freaking the freak out. Any closer, and I'm going to go on a rampage. Maybe I'll hurt the clowns. Maybe, I'll hurt people around me when I start throwing chairs. Who can say for sure?
I'm Not Crazy,
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
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