Now, these stati (or statuses for those who like to speak English goodly) are you shot to Facebook fame. Either you hit, or you miss with your status. The first thing people see on your wall is your status and if it's a good one, then everyone will show their enthusiasm with your creative genius by giving you the Glorious Like. This Like signifies that you are either A.) A comedy god/goddess B.) A sensitive soul with good taste in music or C.) A complete moron.
The status is usually an update about your life. Maybe it says:
Brian just had a long day and is now relaxing with some hot cocoa by the fireside hearth whilst reading a book about the War of 1812.
From this, people get that you were stressed, enjoy reading historical masterpieces near the hearth and are not allergic to chocolate. All three things are very useful. Updating about your life is fine, but when it turns from simple updates to complaining about everything, you are going to have a problem.
Brian had the worst day ever! I mean, I literally think this day is the worst day in the history of the world! Jesus probably couldn't even top how sucky this day was! If this day were a cleaning appliance, it would be a vacuum because it sucked that much.
Nobody cares about your life that much. Trust me. I am guilty of doing something like this, and nobody gives a flying frack.
Now, if you don't feel like describing your days, perhaps you are one of those people who puts lyrics as a status. This is great to! Especially if the song is popular and everyone likes it!
Juda! Juda-a-a! Juda! Juda-a-a!
Sure people think you are crazy, but they can't get Lady Gaga out of their heads now, can they? What is NOT acceptable is putting lyrics to a song only two people have heard because there are only two people who have seen the band. The biggest offenders are those unknown emo/punk bands that people don't care about...at all.
The black lines around my eyes stain the world with their lies.
That's poetic! What's it from?!?
Oh it's a song. U probably never heard of them. They r thu Tropical Lithe Didgeridoos
Nobody cares about the Didgeridoos. They probably aren't that good anyway. Now the one thing that tops all other lyrical stati is this one:
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now!
No. No we cannot pretend they are shooting stars. That's ridiculous and goes against all ideas of logic. I will end you for even thinking that we could pretend that these flying contraptions are flaming balls of rock and metal and gas hurling around the solar system and immeasurable speeds. I hate you.
If music isn't your thing, just quote a funny line from a movie! You don't even have to have seen the movie to quote it! Ah, the joys of the internet!
Baxter! You know I don't speak Spanish!
HA! You my friend, are a comedy genius and have wonderful taste in movie!
What's on your mind?
Brian
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