My Alarm Clocks are Possessed by the Devil

The title says it all.  My alarm clocks (all of them) are indeed possessed by the Devil.  The only alarm clock that isn't possessed would be the one that plays church bells as an alarm.  I assume it's because the holiness of the bells and the Devil is unholy or something.  I don't really know.

But anyway, if you remember my rant about daylight savings time and how my alarm clock didn't change so I changed it, but then my alarm clock did change which effectively made me late for work.  Yeah.  I've come to the conclusion that it was the work of the Devil.  Who else but the devil would celebrate Daylight Savings Time at three in the morning instead of two in the morning like the rest of the world.  This makes perfect sense since I believe that hell is located somewhere in South Dakota (why else would there be no people there?!)

Recap of my alarm clock horrors:  My first alarm clock was from the 1980's.  I'm surprised that it actually worked.  It was nice though.  It woke me up for school and other stuff that I needed to be awoken for.  My next alarm clock is still in working condition.  It is one of those nature sounds alarm clocks.  It plays the ocean, a babbling brook or wind chimes for me to sleep to.  In reverse, it wakes me up to Alexander Graham Bell's Telephone, Church Bells or Cathedral Bells (which I assumed were the same thing.  They're not.  Cathedral bells have a better tune to them).

I grew weary of being woken up to the sounds of church and other bells, so I bought my third alarm clock.  This thing was nice.  It had a hookup for my iPod and I was able to set the time both forward and backward (which I thought was a technological marvel in and of itself).  Unfortunately, this alarm clock soon became possessed by el diablo.  He (or she) crept into my alarm clock via the electrical outlet and started to play games on me while I slept.  It would reset itself halfway through the night.  The alarm would change drastically without me changing it.

Needless to say, this alarm clock had to go.  I should have had it exorcised, but I wasn't thinking clearly at that point.  My next alarm clock, the one that screwed Daylight Savings Time for me, became possessed by the Devil.  Today, after my alarm went off, it set itself back an hour for no apparent reason.  I was extremely confused because I didn't know what time it was and I was having a mild panic attack.  So.  In the end, I dumped a bottle of water on it in order to exorcise it.  It sparked and smoked, and then everything was quiet. Proof that the devil was in fact possessing my alarm clock.

Brian 1.  Devil 3.