Allergies: Because Even Flowers Need to Annoy the Hell Out of Someone

I work hard for a living.  I like what I do and I'm decent at it.  Now, there comes a time in my lines of work where I get annoying people who bother me, such as angry residents, or angry criminals, or confused residents, or confused criminals.  The list goes on and on and on and on. DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Anyway, when I'm not being annoyed by stupid people I am working hard.  However, this past week, a little thing called allergies has been getting in my way and being a real bitch.  If allergies were a girl, I imagine she would butt her way into everyone else's business and try to tell them how to do things they already know how to do.  And that's what she's been doing this entire week with me.

Allergy (we'll call her Ally for short) payed me a visit on Monday, an already busy day.  I get to work and my eyes are watering and I'm congested and I'm sneezing and my mouth itches and I'm miserable.  So I find the resident pill pusher at the courthouse (surprisingly more difficult than one would think at a place of crime), and she gives me some sort of allergy medicine, the drowsy kind.  And then, I am out of it for the entire day.

I don't remember much from that day, just that I couldn't really function well and I was tired and dazed, but my allergies were gone.  I thought I had beat Ally with a thunderpunch to the ovaries.  However, she was back the next day with a kick in the groin.  So I threw a stapler at her and knocked her on the head.  She responded with multiple swings of her Sword of Death, which I parried using my Shield of Disambiguation.  I countered her attacks with a roundhouse kick to the face.

Just when I thought I had won, she split herself in two.  With two Allys coming towards me, I was helpless.  I couldn't defend both!!  Naturally, these two allied Allys beat the bejesus out of me.  And here I am, miserable and alone and tired and congested and writing this blog.

Moral of the story:  Allergies, although severely overrated and a pain in the butt, can beat the crap out of me.

And if you didn't notice, this post's theme was Run-On Sentences!  Yeah well grammar!