How I Convinced Someone There Was an Alligator in my Basement

Well, I did warn you that this story was coming (Hide and Seek in the basement....recall?) so here it is.

Basically:  One of my brother's friends always wanted to hang out in our basement, but we didn't want to because there wasn't anything fun to do down there anyway.  So, I told him we can't because the alligator lives down there and it will eat you.  Mind you, this was when I was 14 and he was 12, so there was still some childlike naivety there.  In the end, he believed me and didn't go down in the basement....

Wow.  That story sucked.  Let me try again.

ALLIGATOR STORY 2.0


It was a dark, stormy afternoon, and I was home alone with my brother and his friend.  We were bored, of course, due to the lack of being able to go outside into the expansive wilderness near my house.  So, we tried to make up games, but, being young chillens, we didn't like cards or board games.


My brother's friend suggested we do something in the basement, since there was nothing fun to do upstairs.

"The basement?" I said incredulously, "The basement?!?"

"Yeah," He replied, "Let's do something in the basement."

"We don't go in the basement," I said, turning my head dramatically away, "Not since....It happened."

It was a dark and stormy afternoon, much like this fateful day, about four-hundred years ago.  Some European settlers were trying to draw out the native tribes and they were chasing one of the tribe's magical leaders.  When the leader was cornered, in the exact spot that this house was built, he cast a spell.  Suddenly, hundreds of alligators crawled from the earth, attacking the settlers and forcing them to flee the area.  On the way out, one settler shot one last bullet from his musket, striking the magical leader.  He fell to the ground and died.  They say his body transformed into one of the alligators he conjured up, and the gator stayed there, for all eternity...

Even today, the alligator remains in our basement, ready to attack any unsuspecting folks....

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Now that was an epic story, amirite?

It's Been Awhile World...

Indeed it has.  It's been a bit since I have had some sort of time to blog again.  A lot has happened in the past 10 days and yet, nothing has happened in the past 10 days.  BAM!  Mind = Blown.

So, shortly after writing my post about how much I hate winter, BLIZZARD 2011!!!!!!!!!!11!!!1!!1!!!!!1 occurs and wipes out 95% of all life on earth.  It was a tragic day, but I survived.  My roommates and I tried to create a parachute in order for us to properly enjoy the windy blizzard.  At first, we cut up a bunch of Meijer bags (mostly in hopes of getting some funding), but when that didn't work, we used the next logical choice:  shower curtains.  Needless to say...that didn't work either.  So, there was some minor disappointment, but I got a snow day, so I am happy.

I learned that I do not know how to make icing.  That was a surprise, since it came from a box.  Who knew that I was such a failure at life?!?  Not me.  So anyway, I was Prep Cook at the nursing home (for the first time by myself) and I had to keep reminding people of how important I was and why they should respect me.  The icing incident was really the only thing to go totally wrong...the mashed potatoes were a close second...

I have decided to make some life changing decisions, like giving up pop and eating healthier.  And those lasted about 2 hours.  So, I re-made some life changing decisions to CUTTING DOWN on pop and drinking more water.  I figured, with my schedule, there is no hope for me to eat healthier, so I'm just going to say screw that.

I planned out the next two years of my college life instead of doing actual work.  I am now an Accounting and Business Economics major.  If all goes well, I will be studying abroad in Poland next year.  If not, I will be living as a bum in Poland next year.  One way or another, I'm going to Poland to reclaim my throne as the Polish King.

And then, of course, there is school and work and homework and other crap that doesn't matter but I'm adding to make this list look slightly longer than it actually is because everyone knows that people like to read lists, no matter how long they appear unless they are waaaaaay to long and then we all just say screw it and look at the pictures after the list to make us feel better and act as though we read the list that was way to long to read in the first place.

Also!  I'm on an intramural soccer team....we're horrible.

That's about it.  As you can clearly tell, I live an exciting life...yup.