That's right. You've heard of Ghost Whisperers (TV show?) and Dog Whisperers (Another TV Show?) and probably Library Whisperers (Maybe a TV Show?), but probably not an Insect Whisperer. Well, corner closed on that market people! Because I officially have earned that title today.
I suppose it started a few years ago...maybe just one year ago...when I discovered, early one morning, a praying mantis on my windshield. Instead of just running the wiper blades at full blast, I pulled over and pried the thing right off the windshield and set it in some natural habitat of sorts...on the side of the road...there was grass there. Since that day, the insect gods have looked favorably upon me.
And that favor has reached an epitome today, when I befriended my fruit fly friend. (That's a doozy to try to say fast...or drunk...or both). I was sitting in one of my classes, struggling to stay awake as one often does in college, and looked down and there was this fruit fly, just staring back at me. So, instead of actually paying attention in class, this fruit fly and I (I named her Alice) went on a magical journey of undocumented proportions!
Basically, I would pick her up on my pen from one side of my notebook and then take her and put her down on the other side of the notebook. The laughs we shared!!! This went on for the whole hour, we spent many a good time together. Probably the best date I've ever had...
In all seriousness, this is a gross exaggeration. I did meet a fruit fly, I did not name it, and I did play with it all class instead of paying attention. The unfortunate truth is, instead of killing it as people often do with these things, I was too attached to it. I put it on my pen and carried it outside after my class was done and let it run free.
Pathetic? Probably. Good use of my time? Probably not. Unconcerned? Yup.
And now it is time for that nightly slumber,
Because since work,
I wish I could write in iambic pentameter on a whim,
Brian
