It kind of just hit me the other day. I only have one more year of undergraduate school and then I have to freaking grow up and find a big kid job. I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS! CANNOT HANDLE BEING ADULT!!
Once I figured this out, I started to panic like a mother who lost her kid (the one she actually likes) in the grocery store and is stuck with the one that keeps her up all night because they are too young to walk by the cart and thus have to sit in the seat, which is where you usually put the bread but now you can't because there is a baby there and now you have to create a pyramid out of canned fruits and baby foods in order to place the bread safely out of harms way so it doesn't get crushed by your twelve pack of diet coke and the three boxes of Cherrios you had to buy because that's all your infantile kids will eat. THAT NERVOUS.
But really, I don't know what I want to do. Sure, I'm going for accounting, but that's very vague. That's like saying "I'm going to go there." WHERE THE HELL IS THERE?!?! Basically the pickle I'm in. So I started thinking, well, now I'll just go to Graduate school after I get my Bachelor's. That way, I can postpone the decision of where I want to work for the rest of my life. Then I realized I have to take tests and do other stuff that's going to confuse me even worse. Plus, what if the place I want to work at doesn't like people with Master's Degrees because they have to pay them more and thus only hires people who aren't as smart?!? What then?
Then I contemplated dropping out. I've got a job that could pretend to be a full-time job if there is an opening. So I would have the whole job thing done! What next? Buying a house. PFFT! Easy as pie. But then I realized that I wouldn't make a lot of money, so what's the point of doing that.
Then I start worrying even more because my backup isn't good enough to be a back up (even though it totally is) so I decide the only proper thing to do is to crawl under a rock and wait until the world begins to end. At least that way I won't have to worry about a career or a future.
In the end. I'm just going to wing it. This whole blogging about it didn't help at all. It just made me more nervous. I'd say that I'm just not going to care anymore, but I do that now, so it wouldn't change anything.
So...chyeah...that's what's up with my life...
I'm Screwed,
Brian
